Transcription of Thomas and Lee Ann Szelog for the show Out of the Box, #86
Dr. Belisle Many people talk about the idea of living in a lighthouse and seeing what that’s like to be right on the edge of the world. People also talk about going into the woods and finding themselves like Thoreau did near Walden Pond. I’m sitting across from two people who actually thought about this, did it, and then wrote about it, which is unusual. I’m very fortunate to have with me today Tom and Lee Szelog who are authors of Our Point of View: Fourteen Years at a Maine Lighthouse and By a Maine River – A Year of Looking Closely. Thanks for coming in and sharing your experiences with us today as you’ve shared your books with us today or in the past.
Lee Ann: Great, thank you for having us.
Tom: You’re welcome.
Dr. Belisle: Tom, I think that this, when I was talking to Lee yesterday, this was something that you’ve been interested in doing from the beginning. You used to hang out on the shores of the river in Manchester.
Lee Ann: Merrimac River.
Dr. Belisle: Merrimac River in Manchester, New Hampshire, and you were always about nature, and you were always about being outside and you picked up a camera pretty early. What was it about the outdoors that really appealed to you?
Tom: I think the first thing is that garnered my attention to nature and the outdoors was I had come from a large family. I had six brothers and sisters. My father passed away when I was quite young, so we had very minimal amount of resources to go on fancy vacations and to travel and such. I was forced to find simpler cheaper means of entertainment. I soon discovered that visiting your local parks and streams and rivers really brought a lot of enjoyment to me. They were like mini vacations. I looked forward to school vacations because I knew I could spend the whole summer walking the woods and exploring the nearby rivers and streams. At the time, unbeknownst to me, I was developing this incredible bond and passion towards the outdoors and nature and wildlife.
Dr. Belisle: Your books reflect that. Even right on the front cover, there’s a picture of a couple of frog eyes coming from a frog looking up at us through the water and a squirrel looking at us head on. There is this connection that you made with these creatures in order that you could actually take a photo of them.
Tom: It’s not easy for me to say, but I actually tend to relate to nature and wildlife and being alone outdoors. When I am in the forest by myself with my camera, sitting in my wildlife photography blind I’m actually at my happiest. When I’m sitting in a studio in downtown Portland I’m actually not at my happiest.
Lee Ann: Although we’re happy to be here.
Dr. Belisle: I appreciate that.
Tom: Don’t take it personally.
Lee Ann: I understand that. The way I look at it is I’m Tom’s wife, but he also has a mistress, and his mistress is Mother Nature.
Dr. Belisle: Wow, that’s very open and accepting of you.
Tom: You knew all along? I thought I was really good at hiding that.
Lee Ann: It speaks to something that I think a lot of people feel, the simultaneous desire to be solitary and to convene with nature but also the very real need to be out and about in the world and make a living and pay the mortgage. I think there is that pull in either direction for many people.
Tom: It’s a difficult balance for me being a professional photographer because I realize I do need a source of income and to obtain this income I have to interact with people and get out there, get outside the box, so to speak. I make up for it by spending as much time as possible in the field and enjoying Mother Nature.
Dr. Belisle: Now Lee, you seem like if there’s a yin and yang element to this you seem like you offer more of that yang, more of that outgoing, energy, more of that. what your business is is really very connective. You do a lot of public speaking, but you also started your career with the knowledge that you yourself were fairly shy.
Lee Ann: Yes, still deep down inside I’m very shy. When I was 7 years old I had my first a-have moment, although I didn’t realize it at the time. I saw a girl I went to school with who was shier than I was. I looked at her and felt sorry for her. I thought, “I don’t want to be like that person.” At that point in my very young age, I decided that I wanted to break through and I started to raise my hand more in school. I started to volunteer as much as I could. I fight it every single day. It amazes me to think what I do now. I do public speaking. I teach a lot of classes on communication, absolutely love what I do. I work at it every single day. I think that’s something that we all just have to make conscious decisions every single day.
We talk about how challenging it is to, as Tom was talking about, spend as much as time in nature and really bonding with nature because we’re so overwhelmed with technology and information in this day and age and we’re all running so fast. When I was 25 years old I was running just as fast. Fortunately for me I met Tom and he helped me to slow down and to appreciate our surroundings. That really has led to where I am in my career in my life right now. I have slowed down. I can appreciate the simple pleasures. I make very conscious decisions to stop and observe a soaring bald eagle or look out the window and enjoy the forsythias that were just blooming across the street when we walked in, we stopped and looked at those. We have to make conscious decisions about the pace of our lives and what we’re doing in order to really find the happiness that we strive for inside. That’s different for all of us. That’s what we have to do to get there and that’s what Tom strives to do with his nature and wildlife photography, and that’s what I strive to do as well in my business.
Dr. Belisle: That is an important point because I believe that many people think of themselves as either introverted or extroverted, either they like a party or they like the quiet. Sometimes you may like one or the other, there may be a sweet spot for you, but you still have to make a choice to exist within the bigger world, whatever that looks like. Whether it’s you choosing to slow down and exist within this world where you’re looking at the bald eagle or you’re looking at the forsythia or whether Tom pulls on his let’s go work with the world and sit in front of a microphone in the radio studio outfit, they’re both choices being made.
Lee Ann: It’s that balance I think that Tom mentioned a few minutes ago. We have to find that balance that’s right for all of us. First step in finding that right balance is discovering within ourselves what are my strengths, what do I love doing, what’s more challenging and striking that balance. That’s a discovery we all have to make for ourselves.
Tom: Individuals have to take responsibility for their own happiness. If you’re not happy then you have no one else to blame but yourself. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but that’s the bottom line. You have to make yourself happy. No one else is going to do it for you.
Lee Ann: No one’s going to change your life but you. If you don’t like something in your life, whether you struggle with a relationship or a situation in your life that person isn’t going to change. If you’re struggling with a relationship that person isn’t going to change, but if you change what’s going to happen, if you change your approach to that person, what’s going to happen is they’re going to change their approach back. It’s a conscious decision. We all have to take responsibility as Tom said. It’s hard work. It doesn’t happen overnight.
Tom: When I was younger, my father passed away young and I had three older brothers who I looked up as fatherly figures. I adored them. I wanted to be whatever they wanted to be. I wanted to go wherever they wanted to go. I eventually learned that they weren’t the types of persons you looked up to. They had their problems. When I made the decision I’m going to change it was a difficult decision to make, but I had to decide that I was not going to look up to them anymore as fatherly figures. It was a very big decision in my young life. It eventually led me to what I am today which is a very happy person, a content person.
Dr. Belisle: This back-and-forth that I see in front of me, and that I know our listeners can hear between the two of you, is something that has developed over many years. You met in your 20s.
Lee Ann: Um-hmm (affirmative), right.
Dr. Belisle: You committed yourselves to these interesting lives, living in a lighthouse, living in the woods, simultaneously being a photographer and also you said you worked, Lee, in the banking industry for many years.
Lee Ann: Correct.
Dr. Belisle: You had to keep, again, making conscious decisions that come together as a couple and constantly reevaluate. Is this where we want to be going? Is this how we’re going to be doing it? Talk to me about that.
Tom: We matured a lot as our relationship matured. We were maturing individually as persons. I think we were very lucky that we both synched our lives when it came to how we wanted to live our lives and what we perceived our future being. We were very lucky when I needed some support Lee Ann was always there to support me and vice versa. I think that was a very important factor in our success and happiness.
Lee Ann: I would say we really evolved. Living at the lighthouse was a dream come true for me, a dream that I had had since I was 6 years old. Tom, when we first met, lighthouses was one mutual subject that brought us together. I shared with him my dream of living in a lighthouse. To make a long story short, part of it was being at the right place at the right time, but I also truly believe in the power of our thoughts and fate. It was meant for us to be at Marshall Point. That was a big turning point as far as our growth together. We moved in there a week before we got married. Living at Marshall Point, Tom really introduced me to nature and wildlife, helped me to slow down. He opened my eyes to nature and wildlife. Mother Nature opened by heart to that. living at Marshall Point helped me mature even more in that respect, enjoying and appreciating our natural surroundings, our natural beauty, living on the edge of the continent, and seeing the wildlife, and the weather, and the events that people would come and celebrate there. It really helped me to appreciate more than ever before the simple pleasures of life. We really grew together at the lighthouse. That was a very special time and helped us, as Tom said, mature together.
Tom: Lee and I are no different from most people. People are very complex, but there’s also a very simple side to most people. I think maybe people refuse to recognize or grasp what their simple side is and enjoy that part of life.
Lee Ann: There’re so many distractions nowadays.
Dr. Belisle: Lee, you’re right. There are a lot of distractions. I think it makes it hard from a practical standpoint for people to focus on the bigger picture and from a nature all around them. What are some of the things that you talk to people about in order for them to really tune in more?
Lee Ann: As we had mentioned, everything in life is about choices, even down to how we from a practical standpoint implement whatever changes and choices that we want. For example, with all the distractions we have, with all the technology, is really what I’m talking about the distractions. We have to make a conscious decision to put that technology down, put it away. We are so worried. Our society has created this mindset that we’re so worried we’re going to miss something on our cell phone or our mobile device, but think about what you’re missing in the present. If you’re so distracted with what you’re going to miss on your mobile device, you are undoubtedly going to miss something even greater one-on-one. You have to make that conscious decision to turn the TV off, turn the computer off, put the cell phone away, whatever it happens to be. That’s one piece of advice. Live in the present, live in the moment, put that away. It’ll be there. That’s what Tom and I have really tried to do. I think that’s what’s made such a difference in our lives and has helped us grow together and bond because we do spend a lot of quality time together. we don’t allow for those other distractions.
Dr. Belisle: As I was reading through your book, Our Point of View: Fourteen Years at a Maine Lighthouse, and your talking about Marshall Point, and I’ve been to Marshall Point myself, one of the intersections for me that was very powerful was your discussion of coming across the family of James Andrew also called Drew Griffith, who was a Maine State Trooper fatally injured in an automobile accident in Thomaston. We had his wife, Kate Braestrup, on the show back a year and a half or so ago. When I happened to cross this in the book it just brought me right back to that time and what that meant to her family.
You intersected with a lot of families over the time at Marshall Point. You saw weddings. I think you saw maybe a baptism. It wasn’t just animals and birds. It was people who were bringing really significant parts of their lives to you at the lighthouse. What did that mean to you?
Tom: We discovered over the years that the lighthouse was a place of pilgrimage for many people. People would come from across the world, literally, to visit Marshall Point. We observed people doing things as simple as taking a nap or playing a game of checkers, but we also observed numerous things that we never expected such as elaborate weddings or people scattering the cremated remains of their loved ones or if you can picture full immersion baptisms in the cold Atlantic in the springtime. I think what we experienced is something that a lot of people don’t have the opportunity to experience, and that is to see people at their most vulnerable, to be able to witness and experience this literally from the comfort of your own living room by just looking out the window perhaps.
We often would engage people and learn more about why they were visiting the lighthouse and what brought them there and lured them to this beautiful area. We were able to experience something that really no one probably has ever experienced before. It’s a very rare and unique opportunity. We never expected that to occur when we moved in there. We knew we were going to move into an environment that was very unique and spectacular, but we never expected all the human drama that we experienced there. It was really quite fascinating, not only from a psychological standpoint but from an artistic standpoint with all the unique opportunities that we had to photograph.
Dr. Belisle: I do think this idea of pilgrimage is very relevant because the family of the Griffith/Braestrup family they actually put a bench out in honor of Drew who had passed away in this accident. A lighthouse is not just a physical beacon, but it’s almost a spiritual and emotional beacon of sorts.
Tom: Very much, very much. We tried to interact with people as much as possible. Sure, there were very many times where we would just observe from the inside the keeper’s house, but often than not, we’d try to get out and talk to them and visit with them. That one-on-one interaction revealed a lot about humanity.
Dr. Belisle: This book that you’ve created, By a Maine River, the ongoing story of your love, Tom, of nature and your love, Lee Ann, of connection, I think. You also are doing a project with the North Woods and you have a website that is involved with bringing people back to nature.
Tom: We’ve developed a project called The Maine Woods National Park Photodocumentation Project. Essentially, it’s a photodocumentation project of the proposed 3.2 million acre Maine Woods National Park. Our goal of this project is to inspire and motivate people to want to contribute towards the creation of this beautiful area of the state and with the ultimate goal of creating a book and a fine art traveling exhibit to show people and put a face about this place for people to see how beautiful and wonderful this part of the world is and what an incredibly unique opportunity we have as citizens of the state of Maine.
Lee Ann: It’s a very fragile and magnificent ecosystem that’s really on the verge of destruction or protection. It’s all really based on all of us as human beings, the human species, looking to protect our natural world. It’s a remarkable place and it deserves protection. We’re trying to use Tom’s photographs and our words together to inspire and educate people to rally behind the support and the creation of the proposed Maine Woods National Park.
Tom: I think a lot of people tend to take this part of Maine for granted, maybe more so from Southern people right here in Portland. I have involved in some form or fashion with wildlife and conservation groups for approximately 40 or 45 years. I have been to some of the greatest national parks this country has created. I seriously believe that a Maine Woods National Park could easily be one of the flagship parks in this country. I think it’s as equal with Yellowstone National Park with its grand scenery and its abundance of wildlife and biodiversity. I think we really have a very unique opportunity in Maine to create something that is just beyond belief. I think most people really don’t understand that. They should take a few minutes to either read on the Internet or grab book or even visit the area and try to get an idea of what this opportunity is. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I think like Lee said we’re either save it or we’re going to destroy it. What’s it going to be, Maine?
Lee Ann: This project for us is the next chapter in the evolution in our lives together. I talked about how Tom opened my eyes to the beauty and tranquility of nature and wildlife. When we moved to our log cabin, and Tom, we didn’t live there a month and Tom said, “You know what I’d love to do?” We have 70 acres, Tom said, “Do you know what I’d love to do is I’d love to take a year off someday and photograph just the nature and wildlife on our 70 acres to show people just how closely we live to nature and wildlife,” and then oftentimes all we have to do is step outside our backdoor to experience it and slow down. I thought because he had brought me so far I thought it was a great idea. I said, “Just do it.”
January 1, 2004, he started the project and finished it December 31. From that, we said to ourselves, “What else can we do?” We looked beyond our backyard and that’s how we founded the Maine Woods National Park Photodocumentation Project because we wanted to look at what kind of exposure can we give to our backyard in Maine? That’s what led us to that. We need to remember that we too are a species, the human species. Protection of a natural world is just as important to us as it is to the wildlife that call that habitat home.
Dr. Belisle: There are so many difficult directions we could go with this conversation, but I know people who are listening will want to learn more about the work that you’re doing, they’ll want to read your books, they’ll want to get involved in the organization. Where can they find out more about you?
Lee Ann: I would direct them to the mainewoodsnationalpark.com website, so www. mainewoodsnationalpark.com. That has information about our photodocumentation project. It also has the book there. It has a link to my website with the public speaking that I do, it’s leeannszelog.com, but I’m sure people will stumble over how to spell that. The easiest thing, mainewoodsnationalpark.com and they can find everything they want to know about us through that website.
Tom: You used the word organization. I think it’s important to note that we are not an organization. We are just Lee and I. We’re just two simple lay people who have a conviction and a passion to want to make a contribution in our own way. I surely encourage many people to don’t look at organizations, look at yourself. You have the power in yourself to change the world and make yourself happy.
Lee Ann: I do presentations on my own about communication, but Tom and I also do presentations about our books and the Maine Woods National Park, the proposed Maine Woods National Park. If people have a group that they want to learn more about the proposed park, we’re happy to do a multimedia presentation that we do that actually features the music of legendary folk singer Pete Seeger. He was kind enough to allow us to use some of his music for our presentation which we’re thrilled about.
Dr. Belisle: I’m glad that you’ve pointed out that it’s the two of you. It’s not an organization and I think that each of us can act as individuals and go out there and do what needs to get done and be passionate about how we live our lives. I have myself felt inspired sitting with you this morning and taking the time to talk to you, Tom and Lee Ann Szelog, authors of Our Point of View: Fourteen Years at a Maine Lighthouse and By a Maine River, and proponents of saving the Maine woods. Thank you for coming in and talking to us today.
Tom: You’re welcome.
Lee Ann: Our pleasure, thank you for having us.