Transcription of Young Maine Voices #179
Announcer: You’re listening to Love Maine Radio with Dr. Lisa Belisle, recorded in the studio of Maine Magazine at 75 Market Street, Portland, Maine. Dr. Lisa Belisle is a physician trained in family and preventative medicine, acupuncture, and public health. She offers medical care and acupuncture at Brunswick Family Medicine. Read more about her integrative approach to wellness in Maine Magazine. Love Maine Radio is available for download free on iTunes. See the Love Main Radio Facebook page or www.lovemaineradio.com for details. Now here are a few highlights from this week’s program.
Sienna Mazone: Trying to get as many colors on your plate as possible and sort of making a rainbow. Let’s make it in my dish is trying to get as many colors as I could. That healthy isn’t always sacrificing taste and that us kids can be a good role model to older people and younger people if we will take the time.
Hunter Kent: Now, it’s definitely a big part of my life just showing people that I care, that I’m there for them, that I’m here to listen and I understand what some of them are going through. It’s just a really, really great feeling when you know that you’ve impacted someone’s life in the most positive way that you can make them smile and you can make their day better.
Announcer: Love Maine Radio is made possible with the support of the following generous sponsors: Maine Magazine, Marci Booth of Booth Maine, Apothecary by Design, Mike Lepage and Beth Franklin of RE/MAX Heritage, Tom Shepherd of Shepherd Financial, Harding Lee Smith of the Rooms, and Bangor Savings Bank.
Dr Lisa Belisle: This is Dr. Lisa Belisle and you are listening to Love Maine Radio, show number 179, Young Maine Voices, airing for the first time on Sunday, February 15th, 2015. When it comes to having a voice, age is relative. It matters less how old we are than how willing we are to share our story and our convictions. Today, we speak with 13-year-old, Sienna Mazone, about her ideas regarding the importance of vegetarian eating, which won her a trip to the White House to meet the President and First Lady. We also have an uplifting conversation about overcoming depression with Cape Elizabeth High School senior, Hunter Kent. Thank you for joining us.
Today, in the Love Maine Radio studio, we have with us an individual who shares my love of healthy food. I’m very happy to have Sienna Mazone, who is a 13-year-old from Dresden, Maine. She was one of 54 children who won the Healthy Lunch Time challenge, a national Youth Recipe Competition to promote healthy lunches as part of First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” initiative. She created the Mexican Haystack, a dish that includes an avocado, sweet potato, chili pepper and tortilla shells. Thanks so much for coming in Sienna.
Sienna Mazone: Yeah, thank you for the opportunity.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Sienna, you have been on the media circuit.
Sienna Mazone: I am?
Dr Lisa Belisle: You’ve become a celebrity.
Sienna Mazone: Thank you. Yes.
Dr Lisa Belisle: When you created this recipe, did you think this would happen?
Sienna Mazone: I knew if I won I would definitely be in a couple of newspapers and magazines but I didn’t really anticipate going this far.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You got to meet the First Lady.
Sienna Mazone: and President, yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: and President. What got you interested in creating this recipe? Why do you care so much about healthy food?
Sienna Mazone: My mom is a fitness trainer and has always been very healthy. My dad is a doctor in [inaudible 00:03:46]. I’ve always lived a healthy lifestyle. I’ve always loved cooking. It’s just one of my passions. I think it was 2011, my aunt from Colorado sent me an article from her newspaper with Michelle Obama’s Healthy Lunch Time challenge. She wanted me to enter really bad. I thought about it. I was a semi-finalist last year, I’m sorry, 2013. Then, 2014, I entered again and won.
Dr Lisa Belisle: What did you enter in 2013? What was your recipe that year?
Sienna Mazone: I did a veggie burger and fruit salad.
Dr Lisa Belisle: How long have you lived in Maine?
Sienna Mazone: All my life.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You were born here?
Sienna Mazone: I was born in Maine Medical Center in Portland.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Your dad is a family doctor. I think up in Lewiston, is that right?
Sienna Mazone: Yeah. That’s Central Maine Medical Center.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Central Maine Medical center. It sounds like it’s just in your blood.
Sienna Mazone: It’s just there.
Dr Lisa Belisle: It’s just there. Why has it been important to your parents for you to be so interested in eating fruits and vegetables, for example.
Sienna Mazone: Not really that they wanted me to. They have, but I’ve also had an interest. I also garden with a couple of friends. I can salsas, pickles, things like that. I’ve just always been there.
Dr Lisa Belisle: It’s always been there.
Sienna Mazone: Always in there.
Dr Lisa Belisle: My daughter is 13 also. She’s almost 14. She likes food but she tends to cook, more like bake. She likes to bake.
Sienna Mazone: Like?
Dr Lisa Belisle: Cookies, and pies, and cake, some things like that. Do you like to do that too?
Sienna Mazone: Yes. I like anything to do with the kitchen.
Dr Lisa Belisle: With the kitchen.
Sienna Mazone: and food, yes.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Tell me some of your favorite things to cook besides your Mexican Haystack. There must be lots of other things that you like to cook.
Sienna Mazone: Yeah. With Dr. Tim Hau. At his house, he has a pizza oven. We would always make pizzas with him. I enjoy making pizzas and seeing how many vegetables I can fit on to one pizza. It was just really cool. I like to bake pies and things, pretty much anything. I’m not picky.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Do you like to share your food with other people?
Sienna Mazone: Love to, yes.
Dr Lisa Belisle: When you cook something, is it something you’ll sit down and eat with your family?
Sienna Mazone: Absolutely. Yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: What are their favorite things that you make?
Sienna Mazone: I do a lot of salads, different kinds of salads. They love salads. I like casseroles or different things like that, yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: We’ve had Dr. Hau on the radio show. He has talked about how he eats, basically, it’s a meat-free diet.
Sienna Mazone: Right, right.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Is that something that you believe in too?
Sienna Mazone: I do, yes.
Dr Lisa Belisle: This is something that you’ve always done?
Sienna Mazone: It’s something most of my life I’ve done, yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Why is it important to you to limit or not eat meat at all? Is there something that, just tell me why is that so important?
Sienna Mazone: I research with my dad. Some of the anti-biotics and things that can be put into meat and that scared me. It wasn’t something that we always had in our diet. I am a very original. Yeah just it’s not necessarily something I’m terribly interested in.
Dr Lisa Belisle: It just fell off your radar screen.
Sienna Mazone: Yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: What is it like to be someone who doesn’t eat meat in a world where a lot of people eat meat, when you go to a restaurant and most of the things on the menu have meat in them?
Sienna Mazone: That’s when I ask and say, “Can I have this without the meat at it?” Or “Can I just have this pasta instead of with pork and sauce. Just [inaudible 00:08:00] the marinara sauce. I always have salads, it’s not been terribly hard to be a vegetarian. Plus, most of my friends are all vegetarian. We’ll get together and cook just simple vegetarian things.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You’re home-schooled.
Sienna Mazone: I am home-schooled.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Talk to me about that. Tell me about a typical day for you.
Sienna Mazone: I wake up around 6:30-7:00. We’ll have breakfast. I play violin. I study with [Ma-rie-Black 00:08:37] down in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I’ll practice for an hour and a half every day. Then, do my morning subjects to include like Math, Reading, Science, Grammar. Then I’ll have lunch and do silent reading for half an hour to an hour. Then I have time to either clean my room or go outside or may ice skate with some friends down the road. Then, after that, I’ll finish up whatever school work needs to be done before chores and supper.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Sometimes when we think about people who are home-schooled, we think of it as more of a solitary thing where you’re by yourself a lot. I know you have a little brother so obviously he’s around. But it sounds like you have a lot of friends.
Sienna Mazone: I do have a lot of friends. I’m doing tennis. I go around to Boston every week with friends. It’s not like I’m shut up. Every Saturday I have a group that we all play at church. That’s nice. I’m out almost everyday doing something with friends, yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Are a lot of these people also home-schooled?
Sienna Mazone: They are. Most of of them are. We’ll do home-school groups sometimes or get together after school hours with my friends. I do go to school.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You have a structure to your day the way that anybody would, going to a public school. You do a lot of the same subjects that people do.
Sienna Mazone: Absolutely.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You also have the chance to focus on things that you enjoy.
Sienna Mazone: Right.
Dr Lisa Belisle: What are some of your favorite subject? You talked about violin. What other things do you like to do?
Sienna Mazone: Besides cooking, I love to read. I could just sit and read all day. I have a huge passion for animals. We have a cat. I’ll spend time with the cat. We used to help a friend take care of a horse. That was really awesome, anything to do with animals. I love being outside, ice skating, sledding, in the winter. I also love to swim. We live right by a river, the [inaudible 00:11:04] river. We’ll swim sometimes in there. It’s not the cleanest, that place where I swim. Those are the things I enjoy.
Dr Lisa Belisle: What do you like to read? What are some of your favorite books?
Sienna Mazone: I love mystery books. I read those books about people that have an interest to me and things like that.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Have you read any recently that are specially good?
Sienna Mazone: I read a book on Lewis Zamporini which is really amazing.
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Dr Lisa Belisle: Tell me about this animal piece. You have a cat that you love, you have a horse that you help take care of, why do you like animals so much?
Sienna Mazone: I remember, I think I was 10, 9 or 10, my best friend and I would decide we want to ride a horse together because they have just gotten horses. We took care of the horse, her name was Honey. We took care of Honey. We both try to get on Honey. It was amazing. It’s like you’re not doing anything, you’re just sitting there on an animal and the animal is running and jumping but it’s not like overwhelming. It was really cool. After that, I really took any animals. I just had a dog. She’s an [inaudible 00:14:30] terrier. Amazing dog to cuddle with me and loved food. That’s about how it started off.
Dr Lisa Belisle: It sounds like you’ve made friends with these animals in a way.
Sienna Mazone: I have.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Tell me about some of your experiences as a result of the Mexican Haystack and entering this “Let’s Move!” initiative with Michelle Obama.
Sienna Mazone: I was working with Chef [inaudible 00:15:00] here [inaudible 00:15:02] in Portland. We did a series of demonstrations. I think we did 6 or 7. Here on Portland, we did some at Parkview Hospital in Brunswick where we would present my dish. I got very good feedback of how they like the beans and sweet potato go together. Originally, people wouldn’t think of sweet potato and beans really together, but I put them together. I got feedback that people really like the flavor we’re putting together. The whole dish all had flavors that I love. Put them together and people seem to like that.
Dr Lisa Belisle: When people hear about the Mexican Haystack or the demonstrations that you’ve been doing or all of the conversations that you’ve had, I think you’ve had interviews with newspapers and you’ve been covered, I think on television, what are you hoping that people will learn from the Mexican Haystack? What do you put at hoping to inspire people to do?
Sienna Mazone: Most people think that in order to be healthy, you sacrifice taste. Trying to let people know that this dish is vegetarian and it still tastes amazing, you don’t need all this extra meat, unhealthy oils and fat, everything to make a dish taste good.
Dr Lisa Belisle: It also sounds like one of the messages is that it’s a nice thing to be able to eat together as a family and to enjoy healthy food together as a family.
Sienna Mazone: It has, yeah. It’s nice. My dad is obviously pretty busy. It’s usually just mom and my brother and I. I have friends over and we’ll time each other to create something wacky and tastes good at the same time.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I’m interested in this next question because I have never had the chance to really ask my own kids this because I’m a family doctor and my kids, they grew up when I was going through residency training just like your dad. What was it like to have a dad who is a doctor, who is out taking care of patients and maybe isn’t as home as much? How do you feel about that?
Sienna Mazone: It’s nice in a way that he is doing what he loves. It’s nice to know, if I fall and break something he can fix it. It was nice. My dad, before going to medical school, was a pilot for American Airlines. That was very different from being away a lot. He would fly for 3 or 4 days then be home for an equal amount of time. Now he’s working, I think 5 days a week and then home, maybe a day and a half or less vacation. It’s not the easiest thing or the easiest job but he likes it and I think that’s good.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You support him because you know he’s doing something that’s important to him and the he likes.
Sienna Mazone: Yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: That sounds like your parents do the same thing for you and your brother.
Sienna Mazone: They do.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Sienna, do you have anything that you would like to tell the people, who listen to Love Maine Radio, about eating healthy or things that they can do to incorporate vegetables into their diets?
Sienna Mazone: With my presentation Sienna and Bard, we were talking about trying to get as many colors on your plate as possible, sort of making a rainbow. Let’s make it in my dish is trying to get as many colors as I could and that healthy isn’t always sacrificing taste and that us kids can be a good role model to older people and younger people if we will take the time.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I think that’s a very important point, is that by the time you get to be your age or even when you’re younger, if you’re going to help out in the kitchen, you can help make things, you can learn how to cook from an early age. Sounds like you can learn how to garden, you can learn how to can, all these things that you do. It can be a lot of fun for you and for your family.
Sienna Mazone: It is, yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Sienna, how can people find out about the Mexican Haystack? How can they read about your recipe and also read about Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” initiative?
Sienna Mazone: You can get the cookbook for the 2014 recipes on [inaudible 00:19:45]. They will tell a little bit about the “Let’s Move!” initiative and then how they choose the kids to come. They had 1500 entries for 2014. Then, tell us how they will narrow it down to 54 winners. [inaudible 00:20:07].com. You can get the cookbook as well.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I suspect that you have a very long and interesting life ahead of you. You’re already living a very interesting life. It’s really been a pleasure. We’ve been speaking with Sienna Mazone, who is a 13-year-old from Dresden, Maine and one of 54 children who won the healthy lunch time challenge. Thanks so much for coming in and taking time out of your very busy schedule to talk with us.
Sienna Mazone: Thank you.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Happy New Year.
Sienna Mazone: You too, thank you.
Dr Lisa Belisle: As a physician and small business owner, I rely on Marci Booth from Booth Maine to help me with my own business and to help me live my own life fully. Here are a few thoughts from Marci.
Marci Booth: When was the last time you took a break from what you were doing, from the work that was piled up on your desk and just looked up? I know that during the course of my days, I often forget to take a moment or two to just breathe, look up at the sky, and dream. Terrible that I have to remind myself to breathe, but when I do, I feel energized because in those moments I’m able to let go of the daily grind and think more about what I want to accomplish, how I want my business to grow.
Sometimes those are the aha moments. If we all took a few moments out each day to stop what we were doing and dream a little about our business futures, not only would we feel a great sense of calm but we may come to realize that these dreams can in fact come true.
I’m Marci Booth. Let’s talk about the changes you need; boothmaine.com.
Announcer: This segment of Love Maine Radio is brought to you by the following generous sponsors; Mike LePage and Beth Franklin of RE/MAX Heritage in Yarmouth, Maine. Honesty and integrity can take you home. With RE/MAX Heritage, it’s your move. Learn more at rheritage.com.
Dr Lisa Belisle: It’s my great pleasure today to have an individual who had to actually get out of school in order to come speak with us. We have Hunter Kent, who is a senior at Cape Elizabeth High School. She recently spoke at Tedx Youth and talked about her experience with depression and the steps she took to overcome it.
Thanks so much for taking the time to be in here today. I know it’s more of an effort for you than many people so we appreciate it.
Hunter Kent: Yeah, thank you.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Hunter, tell me about Cap Elizabeth and your experiences there. YOu’re a senior. It’s an interesting time for you, isn’t it?
Hunter Kent: It definitely is. My experience in high school has changed every single year. When I first came into high school as a freshman, I was not in a good place. I really didn’t fit in. I had a couple of friends but I really felt like I didn’t belong in there. It was really hard for me. Sophomore year is pretty bad too. But then, Junior year, especially, I came back for that year just like a completely different person.
This year, especially, has been really, really amazing. I’m making a bunch of new friends. I’m doing new things that I never thought I’d be able to do. My perspective on the school as definitely changed because, honestly, I didn’t like a lot of my classmates. I really just didn’t like going to school. I came back to school, junior year, with definitely a more open mind and more positive attitude. I realize that, sure there are some people that I may not be best friends with but there are a lot of really cool people in Cape Elizabeth. You just have to find them. That’s what I’ve been doing and it’s been a really cool experience.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You’ve been pretty open about your experience with depression, which is something that a lot of people don’t want to talk about it. Depression is a really interesting and difficult thing. It’s very, very personal and yet you are willing to get up on a stage and tell your classmates all about your experience. From what I understand you got a standing ovation?
Hunter Kent: Yeah, I did. Definitely talking about depression, there is stigma about talking about mental illness, I think, especially in today’s society. People feel uncomfortable with it. They don’t want to talk about it whether they’re struggling with it or they’re not. For those who aren’t struggling with it, they don’t understand it. It’s a hard thing to talk about but I feel like it’s something that we have to talk about, especially people like me who are on the other side, who have overcome it. Because, for people who are currently struggling with depression, they feel like they’re not going to get better. They feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
You don’t hear many stories about people overcoming depression, other mental illness. I think it’s really important that people speak up and say, “Hey, you can overcome this. You can get better. It really is possible.”
Dr Lisa Belisle: It’s true that if you have gone through depression, maybe you don’t want to talk about it because it might bring you back to it, place in your life that doesn’t feel that good, that might feel dark. It’s also interesting because with depression and other mental illnesses, you can’t see that somebody has this. You may not know that they’re struggling with this. For you, were you able to go about your daily life and have people not even realize that this was something that you are dealing with?
Hunter Kent: I think some people did know. I’m a very emotional person. I’ve always been pretty open about it. I think some people did know that I was going through something. The first two years in high school, I definitely wasn’t the happiest person. It was pretty noticeable. I also struggle with self-harm, that was pretty obvious. Some people did notice that. I definitely think what you said is true that sometimes you can’t tell if a person is struggling with mental illness and depression. Because I’ve heard stories from friends and kids in my school, who have struggled with depression. I never would have expected those people in particular to be going through it. You can’t tell. You can’t judge based on what they look like or how they act because you really don’t know what they’re going through.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I think about a quote that I don’t know who the person who said it was, but just something about, be kind because you never know what battle others might be fighting. I think that’s really true, especially in this case, because you can really, to all outward appearances, seem fine but a lot can be going emotionally and mentally that other people don’t recognize.
I was reading something that you wrote for us. We ask all people who come in, if you could go back in time, 10 years, what advice would you give yourself? Of course, most people who come in are older than 17, but you said, I would tell my 7-year-old self that it’s okay to be shy and that someday I’ll find my confidence. That’s really interesting to me. Tell me a little bit more about that.
Hunter Kent: I’ve always been a really shy person even when I was really little. I’ve always been shy and introverted and quiet. I just accepted it but I always felt uncomfortable with it. I felt that I was different from everyone else. I think that my anxiety played a part in me being shy. Because I’ve struggled with anxiety even when I was really little. But I thought that that was just because I was shy, but it really was another thing.
I definitely thought that being shy was a bad thing. Even through middle school, the first couple of years of high school, I was ashamed to be shy. I think that now I know that it’s okay to be shy. It balances people out. The part about finding my confidence, I never thought that I’d be confident. It was a dream. It wasn’t even a goal, it was a dream for me to be confident. I never thought I’d be able to achieve it. Now I’m realizing that it actually is possible. I think, at the same time, you can be shy, but you can also be confident at the same time. Which is something that I’m experiencing right now, and it’s been really, really cool.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I think you’re coming along in a good time because there has been more recognition of people who would be considered, what we call introverts or shy. The value that they have in a social seeting, I think that what we normally expect is that people will be outgoing and they can make small talk, hey can be energetic. But you can get a lot of great energy from being around people and maybe just be listening a lot. That must feel really good that people are starting to understand that that’s the case.
Hunter Kent: You said just now about listening. I think that’s a really important thing. Whether you’re shy or not, I feel like sometimes when you’re talking to someone, maybe if they’re going through a hard time, if they’re struggling with something, just being there to listen to them and not necessarily say anything or give advice, but just being there to listen is really important. Listening in general to what people are talking, sometimes you don’t have to say anything to them, you can just listen.
Dr Lisa Belisle: That’s true. I think that the gift of presence is something that is maybe underestimated. You’re right, a lot of people will want to jump in and solve the problem. If they see that there’s an issue somebody is having they want to solve that for them. But sometimes it takes more processing, Sometimes people need to really figure it out for themselves in a way.
Hunter Kent: Definitely. I’m a part of the Natural Helpers Program in my school. It’s a program that, it’s group of students that are chosen from a survey and they’re chosen because other students in the school have recognized them as being more compassionate, a person that they can go to if they’re experiencing stress or a more intense problem. During our natural helper trainings, one thing that’s really emphasized is not necessarily like being the hero, not jumping in to save people but simply just being there to listen can be really, really important for someone.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Listening is actually more challenging than people realize. Tell me a little bit about middle school. What was it about that time that was really difficult for you? Because it sounds like going into, from middle school to high school, those first few years were pretty rough.
Hunter Kent: Middle school was an adventure definitely. It was like, any middle school, it’s like a roller caoster. You’re going through all these changes. Even just school things are changing. You’re getting more responsibilities. Your work and projects and homework and everything, it’s increasing. There’s a lot more social pressure. That’s just what everyone goes through. Then o top of that, I was definitely dealing with different family issues. I have a brother who has autism. That definitely was something that I was experiencing. Like I said, I was very quiet and I was shy. I didn’t have a lot of friends in middle school. I isolated myself from everyone. In 8th grade, that’s when I really felt outcast. That’s when my depression started I think.
Dr Lisa Belisle: What was it like for your family to have a child with autism? What was it like of you as a sister, to have a brother with autism?
Hunter Kent: It’s definitely challenging. There’s a lot of stuff that comes along with it. There’s a lot of doctor’s appointments and medicines. Just daily life itself can be challenging. He’s pretty high-functioning autistic. He can talk. He’s very, very verbal. Everyone’s different on this bunch. When I think kid have special needs. They all have challenges. There’s different challenges with them. It was hard for us, but it’s still, I think it taught me a lot about being understanding of other people. I’m definitely very, very comfortable around people with special needs. I know a lot of people don’t feel comfortable around that. That’s definitely a gift I think I have that I’m just comfortable with it.
My brother is great. He’s very funny. While he can be very annoying sometimes, he’s my brother. It’s great.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Is he older or younger than you?
Hunter Kent: We’re actually the same age.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You are?
Hunter Kent: Yes.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Okay.
Hunter Kent: I’m a triplet.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Well. All right. That’s interesting too. Let’s talk about that. I have sisters who are twins who are 19 months younger than I am. I always wondered what that was like, to be a twin. But to be a triplet, that’s even more interesting.
Hunter Kent: Yeah.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I guess you never really knew what it was like not to be a triplet.
Hunter Kent: My brother has autism, so he’s definitely mentally, a few years younger than me. It feels like he’s a younger brother. My sister, I don’t live with her. Like I feel like I’m a triplet, it feels more like I’m a twin with my brother since I’ve lived with him. It’s definitely interesting.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Do you find that there are similarities amongst the three of you? Or are you more different than you are similar?
Hunter Kent: I think my sister is a lot like my brother. Not that she has special needs, but physically she look more like him. Me and my sister are not really that much alike. I think we’re both shy and quiet but, I don’t know, I don’t really think we have a lot of similarities.
Dr Lisa Belisle: When you’re in middle school and you were feeling very outcast and almost like you wanted to isolate yourself. Were you thinking, I need to protect myself, I don’t fit in or what was it that caused you to feel like that, that being an outcast was something that fit you?
Hunter Kent: Eight grade was definitely a really confusing time for me. There’s a lot of emotions going on, a lot of emotions. I’m not exactly sure what happened. I think I got caught up in my emotions and let them completely take over me. I got in the mindset that people don’t want me here. I just kept feeding into that and it spiraled out of control.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You’ve said that you also have engaged in some self-harming behavior.
Hunter Kent: Yeah. That was in 8th grade and it lasted for a few years. But I am, over a year, clean. I’m very proud of that.
Dr Lisa Belisle: That’s really great. I’m asking you all these questions and I know they’re very personal and I appreciate you answering them. I have older children myself but I also have an 8th grade girl. She’s very open with me. I feel like I have good relationships with my kids. But I think it’s always different when its your mother that you’re trying to talk to. As somebody who has an 8th grade girl, and I know there are lots of people out there who have middle school children, I guess I’m wondering if there’s any light that you could shed on that and how you got from feeling outcast and feeling anxious and having all these overwhelming emotions to a place where you thought that harming yourself was somehow, it must have fed something in you. It must have done something helpful to you for that period in your life. I know that’s a weird thing to say, does it make sense?
Hunter Kent: Yeah, I get it. It’s definitely a short term release for what you’re experiencing I think. For me, personally, I just had to do something with my emotions. I didn’t know what to do. I actually heard about it online. I thought, “Okay, if it’s working for other people, I’m going to try it.” Which is sad that I found it online first and then second that other people think that it works for them. Maybe it does for a little bit, but in the long term it doesn’t work at all. It’s really awful.
Dr Lisa Belisle: What was the process of, you call it, getting clean. That sounds almost as if it’s a similar feeling to maybe some sort of eating more than you should or using some substance or something like that. Getting to a place where you are no longer doing it, it means like weaning yourself from that. What was that like?
Hunter Kent: It was an interesting process because you have to, this goes for any mental illness, you have to want to get better. I have to go through that first. That definitely took a while. But one I was in that mindset of, “Okay, I really want to get better. I want to be happy. I want to be”, I, at first, expected it to happen right away. I’m going to stop right now and I’m never going to hurt myself again. It doesn’t work like that. It’s a process. There are times when you relapse and you slip up. It’s a pretty awful feeling. I was really scared at first. But then, I just kept going at it, and kept pushing through. Eventually, I just got to that place where knew that I was not going to do it again.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Did you have help during this time? Were there people that you could talk to about this?
Hunter Kent: Definitely. Talking to people has been one of the best things for me. It’s been the thing that’s probably helped me the most. I definitely had support from a lot of my friends and my school social worker, I’m really close to her. She’s helped me so much with all of that. Definitely, I had a lot of support throughout the whole process.
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Dr Lisa Belisle: We’re talking about the things that have been hard in your growing up. We’re talking about some of the town background, the family background. But at your core, there’s something that’s very intrinsically you. You’re 17 years old, you’re a senior in high school, you have some sense of who you are now and what you like to do. You don’t have to know exactly what you want to do next. I’m not going to ask you that question. Tell me about you. When you think of yourself, what do you like to do? What brings you joy? What makes you happy to get up in the morning?
Hunter Kent: A feeling that makes me really happy is knowing that at my age, at 17, I’m making a difference in the world. I’m, in my own way, helping people just by my [inaudible 00:41:55], that helped a lot of people, I know that, which is really, really cool. I also have an Instagram account which I’ve used for a few years to, at first it was like a secret account and I use it because I was struggling with depression at the time. I want to connect with other people who are also going through depression. That definitely, I realized that even though I was going through something, I still had these ideas of how I could help other people, if that makes sense. I knew that that’s what I wanted to do. Because I hated the depression. I felt awful. Knowing that so many other people are struggling with it is really sad. I want to change that.
Even though, maybe at the time, I couldn’t to the best of my ability because I was still struggling with it. I still knew that, that was something that I want to do in the future. Now it’s definitely a big part of my life, just showing people that I care, that I’m there for them and that I’m here to listen. I understand what some of them are going through. Definitely, helping people, it also helps me because it’s just a really, really feeling when you know that you’ve impacted someone’s life in the most positive way, that you can make them smile and you can make their day better.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You’ve gone form a shy child, from what you’ve told exactly, shy, and maybe still shy. But a shy person who is confident enough to sign up to give a Ted talk, to go through the Ted talk training because [crosstalk 00:43:48]
Hunter Kent: I didn’t sign up for it.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Oh? Well tell me about that. How did this happen?
Hunter Kent: It was just one day, my class president, Daniel Mens and one of the Tedx Youth Club adviser, Betsy Nielsen, they sat me down during a free period and just brought up the question, “Are you interested in getting a Ted Talk?” They had a list of people that they had as backup, but apparently they all really wanted me to do it. It was a complete surprise for me. I said yes immediately. I was just thrilled about it even though at that time, I really didn’t know how big of an event it was going to be. It was a surprise so no one else in the school knew that I was going to be the speaker until, I’m sure some people figured it out, they saw me that day with the mic on. Some people found out but most people didn’t know until they announced me and I walked on stage.
Dr Lisa Belisle: How did the people, how did the class, and how did the Tedx group, how did they know about you?
Hunter Kent: Several of them said they followed me on Instagram or they’d heard about my Instagram. I think that’s where they came up with my name. Those people, when I make an Instagram account, it’s all personal. You have the typical sunset photos, the selfies and all that. People don’t use it to express their thoughts that much. Mine is definitely quite different from those people. But I’m really open on my Instagram. I’ll share what’s ever on my mind or what I’m going through then.
Dr Lisa Belisle: That’s an interesting point because I think I just read something recently about how, never before have we been called to present ourselves as slices to such an extent as we are now. Where we’re all on Facebook, you give a slice of yourself. You represent yourself a certain way on Instagram. You can represent yourself a certain way. In real life you represent yourself a certain way. But what you’re describing is, you’re trying to be a whole person.
Hunter Kent: Yeah. That’s a cool way of looking at it. Yeah, people only share a small portion of their life on social media. I think there’s a stigma about that. There’s a stigma about simply just sharing your personal experiences and thoughts. Everyone follows the trend. Those all post what people generally post.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I’m thinking about a couple of people that I know that have been different from other kids in high school. One of them I’m thinking about was bullied because he was different than other kids in high school. He did all the right things. He played the right sports. But he just had a slightly different way of looking at the world. Other people felt, I guess threatened by that. Because, they actually physically attacked him at some point. Then, I’m thinking about another person who is different and had a very different way of looking at the world. He’s never been bullied but he also sometimes feels very alone. Can you relate either one of those situations? Or do you know people have been on those situations since you’re a natural helper?
Hunter Kent: Yeah. Especially in Cape. People are afraid to be different. They all go with the crowd. There’s not a lot of physical bullying in Cape, but I think there is to some extent, if I can call it, it’s like a logical bullying where… There’s a lot of cyber bullying online. [inaudible 00:47:58] especially. Like I said, people like to talk about each other but not to their face. It’s always behind their back or anonymous online. People, if they’re being bullied, they don’t really know who’s doing it.
There’s I feel that gotten paranoid, I think. They didn’t want to know who’s talking about them that they don’t know. It could be even be like their best friends, their so-called bst friends. There’s a lot of judgement about that. I know people are scared of that.
For me, personally, I haven’t been bullied that much. Like in middle school, there is some, I think, not so much in high school, as far as I know, so I haven’t really dealt with that but I can definitely feel relate to not really being directly bullied but feeling ashamed and weird for being different from everyone else.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I know that this happens but it makes me feel really sad to know that the anonymous bullying is going on. Of course, I’m sure it’s always going on that people talk about each other behind their backs. But I guess, now it’s like there’s anonymous bullying but we can see it. It’s kind of weird I guess.
I remember when I was in 4th grade, I was beat up by an older kid and a ki9d in my class. I was walking home, most ly what I felt was what did it do to deserve this. Like I felt like I had done something wrong. I was ashamed. I was ashamed of something I didn’t even know what it was. I can, like, go back to that time and feel that. I think those types of things that happened when you’re younger, you can carry them with you. Even as you become as adult, obviously I still remember it.
Hunter Kent: Yeah. That part about feeling like it’s because of you not because of the people who are actually bullying you. That’s really significant because you’re putting that blame on yourself when you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re not even thinking that the bullies are wrong in that situation. That’s really sad. I feel like that’s definitely something that still a lot of people, a lot of people think when they’re being bullied, that’s it’s their fault.
Dr Lisa Belisle: As part of your coming to understand yourself better and bringing yourself out of depression and helping yourself through the anxiety and stopping the self-harming behavior, have you gotten to a place now where you feel like you know yourself well enough so that if things are going on outside of you, you can say this is me and that’s them and I know myself. Say there’s other people who are victimizing, just let’s pretend that you’re being bullied and they were victimizing you and they were saying, “You are doing something wrong. We think a certain thing about you”, would be able to, at this point, say, “No, that’s you, that’s on you, that’s not on me”?
Hunter Kent: I think I could. I’m not sure. I’d like to think I could. In this situation, I feel like , it’s definitely harder when you’re actually experiencing it. But I think I’m definitely strong enough now that, not to say I wasn’t strong before, but now I have that sense of self and self-awareness that I feel like id’ be able to stand up for myself and know that I’ve done nothing wrong.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I think that’s what I was getting to. It was just that when you go through something and it’s so core to you, and you have to really understand yourself so well, that when you get out on the other side, you’re able to say, “You know what, I am who I am. I know myself, I feel good about myself. Whatever is going on with other people around me and whatever they’re projecting on to me, I’m still who I am. That projection is just not real.
Hunter Kent: Yeah. I definitely think self-awareness is something that I’ve really… I’m proud of myself for knowing like when I’m feeling an emotion, I pretty much exactly what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it. I also know that that feeling is going to pass. It’s not going to last forever. Maybe I felt that way before but I know now how to take care of myself when I’m feeling sad or angry about something. I know what to do to care of myself and not avoid the emotion but to push through it.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I like that. I think that’s really important and it’s something that a lot of adults, you’re 17, so you’re right there anyway, pretty much an adult. But I think a lot of much adults neve come that realization and feel pushed around by their emotions all of their lives. I think the fact that you can pause and say like that’s actually going on here and what’s my emotion and why is this happening? How can I take care of myself> I think that that’s a really important thing to have learned.
Hunter Kent: Yeah. [inaudible 00:53:23] told me that, I’m really mature for my age. When I was in middle school, people say I’m mature. That’s cool knowing that I have this self-awareness. It’s interesting like sometimes I’ll see adults in certain situations and they don’t have that self-awareness of what they’re doing or how to deal with their emotions. It’s just weird knowing that at my age, I have that and they don’t.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I think that’s a really fair point. Sometimes age doesn’t have that mch to do with it really. Sometimes it’s just more integral to who you are. You’re right. Other people don’t always know how to process their own stuff no matter how old they are.
Hunter Kent: Now that I said it, I really say that sound mean. What I mean is that, I think people will get there eventually, just maybe it won’t happen when they’re 17. When they’re 21, maybe it’ll happen. When they’re 40 or when they’re 60. I’m not saying that people are not mature but they will get there just at different times. I think it depends on what their life has been like and what experiences they’ve been through.
Dr Lisa Belisle: Is there anything that you would say to people who are listening? Whether it’s, maybe a parent who is worried about a child that is in middle school or high school and seems to be struggling or whether it’s a kid who’s listening, who’s struggling himself or herself, is there anything, any words that you might share that could be helpful?
Hunter Kent: For the parent, I think it’s very important to put aside the judgment and stigma that people feel about mental illness and depression. Definitely don’t say that it’s a phase because it’s not a phase. That is the least de-validating thing you can say to your child. Validating their emotions and feelings is really, really important. Maybe for some parents, they feel helpless because they can’t do anything for their child. Maybe their kid isn’t talking to them. But just saying that you care and being there and listening is really important. Then, if you have to take necessary action if the kid is in danger, I think that’s important too.
Just knowing to listen when they’re going through it but to know that, is something that needs to be done then they have to do it and not just avoid it or pretend like it’s not happening or not taken seriously. For a kid who is struggling with depression, there’s a lot of things I could say. Your emotions are valid. That’s orally important. It’s not a phase. It’s not. It’s not looking for attention, that’s definitely a big thing. If someone’s going through depression, some people will say, “They’re only doing it for attention.” It’s not for attention. Everyone’s experiences are different but recovery is absolutely possible. I firmly believe that for everyone. Whether the depression is biological, from genetics, or whether it’s from experiences or whatever, I definitely, definitely believe that it’s possible for everyone.
Dr Lisa Belisle: I really appreciate your being so honest and open in our conversation. I think you offer a wealth of experience that perhaps other people also have but aren’t necessarily willing to talk about. This is profound stuff and it’s stuff that happens at every age. You two have gone through when you were younger. I suspect we’ll be very enriching over the course of your life. I give you so much credit for really processing through ll of this stuff and available as a natural helper as Cape Elizabeth.
Hunter Kent: Yeah, thank you.
Dr Lisa Belisle: We’ve been speaking with Hunter Kent, who is a senior at Cape Elizabeth High School, who recently spoke at Tedx Youth. Again, I appreciate your willingness to be with us today.
Hunter Kent: Yeah, thank you.
Dr Lisa Belisle: You have been listening to Love Maine Radio, show number 179, Young Maine Voices. Our guests have included Sienna Mazone and Hunter Kent.
For more information on our guests and extended interviews, visit lovemaineradio.com and read Hunter’s interview in Maine magazine. Love Maine Radio is downloadable for free on iTunes. For a preview of each week’s show, sign up for our e-newsletter and like our Love Maine Radio Facebook page. Follow me on twitter and see my running travel, food, and wellness photos as Bountiful One on Instagram.
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