Transcription of Roots of Humanity #197
Male: You’re listening to “Love Maine Radio.” with Dr. Lisa Belisle, recorded in the studio of “Maine Magazine” at 75 Market Street, Portland, Maine. Dr. Lisa Belisle is a physician trained in family and preventative medicine, acupuncture, and public health. She offers medical care and acupuncture at Brunswick Family Medicine. Read more about her integrative approach to wellness in “Maine Magazine.” “Love Maine Radio” is available for download free on iTunes. See the “Love Maine Radio” Facebook page, or www.LoveMaineRadio.com for details. Now, here are a few highlights from this week’s program.
Virginia: I’m very up-front with them, around how the world needs lots of love, and they all have that ability to be a peace ambassador. I give them that language and that thought process at 3, 4 and 5, so that they know they have that skill set; not with any pressure, but with an empowerment that they feel like, “Wow, I can do something at 5 years old.”
Deqa: I think it’s really very important for people to understand, at least to welcome these people where they are, and to think what story that person has. They are happy to be here, although a lot of people doesn’t know the fact of what they go through, and how hard it is for them to be here. They are happy. They are really happy to be here. Everyone you see, has a story.
Male: “Love Maine Radio” is made possible with the support of the following generous sponsors; “Maine Magazine,” Marci Booth, of Booth Maine, Berlin City Honda of Portland, Apothecary by Design, Mike LePage and Beth Franklin of ReMax Heritage, Harding Lee Smith of the Rooms, and Bangor Savings Bank.
Lisa: This is Dr. Lisa Belisle, and you are listening to “Love Maine Radio”, show number 197, “Roots of Humanity,” erring for the first time on Sunday, June 21st, 2015. Maine has always welcomed individuals of diverse backgrounds. Whether we are offering a home to those seeking asylum from oppressive regimes in their countries of origin, or to those who simply want to experience the way life should be, our openness becomes a gift to all involved, most especially ourselves.
Today, we speak with with Deqa Dhalac, human services counselor for the city of Portland, and Virginia Dearani, founder and director of the Roots and Fruits program in South Portland, about the work they are doing to further cultural understanding in our state. Thank you for joining us.
Many of the wonderful guests we have on “Love Maine Radio” come to us by way of our good friends in the community. One of our good friends is Steve Kelly, who is the associate publisher for “Maine Magazine,” “Maine Home Design,” “Old Port Magazine,” and he’s a close friend of Deqa Dhalac, who is our guest today.
She is a human service counselor for the city of Portland social services division, and works closely with survivor of torture clients, including refugees and asylum-seekers, that are seeking assistance from the city of Portland’s refugee services program.
Steve has wonderful things to say about you, so your reputation precedes you. You are doing really good work within the community. Thank you for coming in and taking time out of your day to speak with us.
Deqa: It’s my pleasure to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me, and I cannot thank you enough, Steve, for doing this. I was wondering who invited me in this great radio, that I never heard of. I’m really honored.
Lisa: You have … Apparently, the way that you and Steve know each other is that you have children together at the Friends School.
Deqa: Correct. My daughter and Steve’s son goes to the Friends School. They are both eighth graders.
Lisa: It’s exciting, what’s happening for you right now, because if you both have eighth graders, you’re heading to that next level. All of your kids are going to be high school or older.
Deqa: Yeah, and she cannot wait to get out of middle school. I don’t know why. I also have 2 boys. My oldest son is 22 years old, and he goes to USM. I have a 15-year-old, who is a sophomore at Baxter. She sees her brothers being in high school and college. I think last night she talked about going to college, and she talked about in New York. I said, “Can we go to high school first, then we can talk about college after that?” She is really excited.
Lisa: When you and I were speaking before, you talked about setting the bar high for your kids, creating expectations. You’ve done a lot of things in your life, because you believe that your kids can meet those expectations.
Deqa: Yeah, correct. I think if your children have a good role model in you, I think they can do even better than what you do. For example, I volunteer at different places, so I tell them, “You need to volunteer.” For example, my oldest son … We’re Muslim, so we fast. The month of Ramadan, I make him volunteer for the Preble Street soup kitchen, and he was starving, but he was serving people. He was like, “It’s not right, mom,” because he’s an American kid. He was born in the United States, and thinks food is everything. He’s like, “It was so hard, I couldn’t do it.”
I said, “That will build your mind power so much, to be able to do that, and serve people. Did you feel hungry, or did you feel empowered by serving people who does not have anywhere to sleep, does not have anything to eat?” He thinks that for a minute and said, “You know what? That makes a lot of sense, mom, because I was not thinking about them. I was thinking about me at the time, but I know what you’re saying.”
I just let them volunteer in different places. For my daughter, she volunteered for Cultivating Communities, when they were trying to do their garden in Boyd Street. For my 15-year-old, I make him volunteer for cleaning up the [Inaudible 00:06:07] Beach, I think it was, for the school day. I try to make sure they do a lot in the community, so they can be better people and better citizens to their community.
Lisa: I really love that your son is fasting himself during Ramadan, and he is going to the Preble Street soup kitchen, serving people food, and having to really create that kind of connection for himself, and what it really feels like to be hungry. He already knows what it feels like to be hungry, but what if you’re somebody who always is hungry?
Daqa: Exactly, that was the whole point that he needed to learn, and he learned that. He said, “That makes a lot of sense, mom. You’re right.”
Lisa: You came to the United States in 1990.
Daqa: Yes, 1990.
Lisa: You came to Maine 10 years ago?
Daqa: Yes.
Lisa: Tell me a little bit about that journey.
Daqa: I came to the United States in 1990, and we lived in Atlanta, Georgia. My kids were born in Atlanta, Georgia. Some of my older son’s friends say that he still has his southern accent, but I don’t see that. We moved in Maine about 10 years ago, and actually my uncle used to live here; not here in Portland, but in Lewiston. He said, “It’s really a great place for our children, for families, and I think it’s really great for education-wise.”
I looked into that, because at the time, I wanted to do my graduate, my masters, and I did not have that time, because your whole time ends by driving from work to home, and picking up kids. There’s no time for you to do anything else. I looked into it, and I find out even the educational level of the south and the north were even different when it comes to children. I said, “Let me just check it out.”
We went to Lewiston and I liked it, because it was very small. You don’t have to travel much. I said, “I like it here.” I moved, about 10 years ago. I wish I’d found this place 20 years ago. We would have moved in here 20 years ago.
Lisa: You liked Lewiston so well, that the only reason that you moved to South Portland was because you took on this new job, and it was in Portland.
Daqa: Yes, because I got my job from the city of Portland in 2007, and the traveling was really difficult, traveling back and forth. It was really a great job. What I used to do was, I do life skills aid. That job was to teach new Mainers how to be safe in their own house, because most of those people came from refugee camps in Kenya or Uganda or Ethiopia. None of them might have never been cooked in a stove, so we were showing them how to turn it on, turn it off, how to save their children from chemical cleaning things, how to lock their cabinets and things like that, so that the children would be safe.
That was a great job. It was a part-time kind of thing, so after … I think a year later, I got a full-time job with public health department for the city, working with the community, refugees and immigrant folks. Public health division minority health program, that’s the program name; I was working closely with folks with their health and wellness. I think that’s what your program talks about more. I stayed in that job for 2 years, working closely with people with their health. We did so many different programs, and I was so proud of that.
After that, I go back to my roots for the refugee services, because I love that program. What we do is extremely helpful; not that minority health is not. It’s really a big program, but the environment for the refugee services was different. Always, you’re doing something hands-on.
We got a survival of torture grant about 6 years ago, where we partnered with the Community Counseling Center, but now it’s Maine Behavioral Health and Catholic Charities of Maine. Last year, I think, or a couple of years ago, we added to Tri-County Mental Health, so we work with people from Portland, and also Lewiston.
I think that’s where my passion is, just helping those people who really go through a lot of trauma. I cannot talk about that, because it’s a long story, but if you ask questions about that, I will be more than happy to answer that.
Lisa: I am interested in that, because I know that we … Many of us are aware of trauma that, say, our soldiers go through when they are at war, or the trauma of domestic issues. You’re talking about something very extreme. You’re talking about significant traumas, that maybe we don’t even think about when we see a new Mainer. We don’t even realize that this might be in their background.
Daqa: Yeah, I will … You’re right. Some of the traumas that these people go through is that they get oppressed because of their ethnicity, because of their tribe, because of their beliefs for government. If I go back to my country about 20 or 30 years ago, people could not say anything. If you say something, you either get killed or jailed for no reason. A lot of people have that fear of saying anything.
Those who are really brave and said, “OK, whatever happens, happens. I don’t care. I believe this,” they say something in a public setting, and they get … Really get the punishment of it, once they do that. They get in jail, and some of them … I hear of so many horrible things, that people have been put in electric shocks, and mentally and physically and sometimes sexually abused. There’s nothing they can do about it. It’s really hurtful sometimes, the stories that we hear.
Lisa: Your organization, your grant, is called Survivor of Torture. You’re talking about survival. How do you help people survive and really try to integrate with this new life that they’re building when they come to Maine?
Daqa: Absolutely, so what we do is, we get referrals. At first, when we got the grant, we did a lot of different workshops to different agencies, hospitals, and tell them that, “We have this program, so we need you to refer your clients, if you see this, if they ever tell you that they have been tortured or detained, or if they are survivors.”
We get all kind of referrals. Once we get a referral, we do an intake for that person. We talk to that person, and ask them 2 questions. The grant is from the Office of Refugee Resettlement, ORR, and they require us to ask 2 questions; have you ever been detained, have you ever been tortured? Sometimes, you cannot say those questions right off the bat, but you have to talk to people in a nicer way, and they have to have that trust in you. Once they see that you are a trustworthy person, then they will answer that question.
Unfortunately, some of the might say, “Yes, I was tortured, but not detained,” so that person is not qualified for the program, unfortunately, although they go through horrible things, but the color of the law or the grant is based on saying, those 2 questions has to be yes.
For example, if the 2 questions is a “yes,” then we have to refer that person to our clinician, who is at Maine Behavioral Health. His name is Paul Revier. Paul will detail, ask that person questions, and verify if they … Not verify, more like screen them, and ask them detailed questions that will say, “Yes, this person is a survivor of torture,” or “No, he or she’s not.” Once Paul determines and says that, “Yes, this person is a survivor of torture, a victim,” then we start doing case management. If they have a work permit, we’ll do employment services. We do a well-being program that we have with the Y, so they get free card that we pay, actually; the city pays for that, and that person gets exercises, and they get swimming, so that they can forget what happened, if they could. I’m sure they’re not going to forget that, but at least they’ll take some burden off, because they got busy with doing all these other things. Also, Paul gives them one-on-one counseling every week. It goes like that.
Lisa: I’m wondering how it must be for people to remain connected to their culture, to their identity, their family identity, especially if they come from a place where they experienced torture. Even if they didn’t, how has it … How does that … Maybe answer it from your standpoint. How has it been for you to maintain a sense of family and culture and original identity?
Daqa: For me, most of the Somali people that you see in Maine, are here legally. They’re here with … They go through 10 and 20 years of refugees, coming from … Fled in from the civil war in Somalia and going to Kenya and places like that. When they come to the United States, and the United Nations high commissioner for refugees brings them to different countries, let’s talk about in the United States. When they come here, they go where most of the Somalis are.
For example, I had a client, another client … I had a family who came from Las Vegas about 2 weeks ago. It was mom, dad and 3 children. He said, “We were taken to Las Vegas. We didn’t know anyone. There is no Somali people. We were told there’s Somali people in Maine. We know 1 person, so we came.”
What happens is, when a refugee comes to the United States, each person gets $1,200. They take whatever they have, the money, and travelled to Maine. They came here; nothing. We had to find them shelter. We had to … I’m going to go back to your point for the family and identity. I asked … It was 5, almost like the end of the day. I had to run to pick up my kids from school. I work 8 to 3, so it was, I think it’s like 2:50 or something. I said, “OK, tell me your tribe.”
He tells me his tribe, so I call somebody I know that is his tribe. I said, “I have this family. They don’t know anybody here. They don’t know where to go, and I have to go, to pick up my children, but I want you to come down here and take them, and give them the resources that they need. They can come back to me tomorrow, so that I can better serve them.”
That person came within 10 minutes, picked them up, take them, and did everything that they needed. That culture, that family, is always here with us. It never left us, and I felt so, how do you say it, passionate about that. I think it was a couple of nights ago, we went to US and they had that, it was the American … Native Americans program that they were talking about children taken away from their homes, like 100 years ago. Again, back in the 70s, and washed out of their tribal rights, their culture, and I felt so bad. I said, “Oh my God, if they’re taken away from me, I don’t know what to do.”
Going back to other folks who are in this state, like the Rwandese, Burundese, Congolese, Sudanese; we always try to be in the same area. That’s why you see a lot of people coming in Maine, because there are people that they know who are here, and they want to be here, because there’s a community that’s already formed. They don’t want to stay in places like Las Vegas or Vermont. In New Hampshire, there is none. There is some, but it’s not a lot. It’s always being where those communities are. We always travel into those places.
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Lisa: It should be noted that the reason that your father thought you were enough, was that you were the girl, and you had 2 brothers. He said, “This is the girl that we want. This is enough.”
Daqa: Yeah, and that was it; no more kids, only 3. He should have just didn’t say something else, and then you’ll have more kids. He said, “No.” He was a very well-educated man, and he believed that whatever God gives you, is what you keep.
Lisa: Did he come to the United States as well?
Daqa: No, but he did went to a lot of different countries, because he was the head of the petroleum agency back home, a long, long time ago. He actually was put in jail for so many different times, because he was always outspoken and saying some things that the government was doing was wrong. We get used to him being taken back and forth. I guess I’m attracted to the fact that the Survivor of Torture program kind of resonates with me, because of that fact.
Lisa: Where are your parents now?
Daqa: My mom was staying with us for a long time, so she just went back to Africa, Somalia, but my father died in 1989.
Lisa: He passed away just before you came here.
Daqa: Yeah, just before. Some of his things were to make sure that I got out. He didn’t want me to get hurt or anything, because a lot of things were happening. He said, “That’s my … What I’m asking you for my cousins and for my uncle is just to make sure that she gets out. I don’t care about the boys. They’re boys, they can handle themselves, but take my kid out.” That’s what he said. My cousins really took that, and my uncles, very heavily, and made sure that I would get out.
Lisa: Daqa, as we’re talking, I’m wondering this question myself, and I think other people who are listening are wondering. That is, how can we help? What do people who are coming to Maine, what do they need?
Daqa: We have different folks who are coming to Maine. There are different types of folks who come here, like I said. The primary refugees are coming straight from a refugee camp, so when they come to the states, they are being taken care of by the Catholic Charities of Maine. They are the ones who are supposed to be giving them their services and all that, the resources that they need.
Once they are here in the country for one year, Catholic Charities are done with them and say, “Now, you are secondary migrants, so you have to get your services from refugee services, which is the city of Portland.” Mainly, we service those who are secondary migrants. Let’s say there are folks who are all over the country; Philadelphia, Chicago, Atlanta. If they stayed in Atlanta for, let’s say 10 months, and they said, “I don’t have my community here. My community is in Maine,” then they have the right to move and come to Maine. We become their service providers, the city of Portland refugee services.
We have another set of folks, who are asylum seekers. Those people help people who are running from persecution from their country and state, “I cannot go back to my country, because of these factors.” Those people, there is no agency that has any money to provide any services for them. We have to look into them and talk to them and ask them those 2 questions that I talked about, for the survivor of torture program.
Once we say, “Yes, these people are eligible for the program,” then we provide for those services. Those who are not survivors of torture, we give them resources that they can go around and see if they can get help from other different agencies.
There are another set of people who we call … The immigration system calls them lottery visa winners. Every year, the immigration … USCIS says, “We are opening for lottery for Sudan, for Chile, for Cuba,” in general, speaking. They will say, “We are offering 10,000 lottery visas to this country,” and maybe 5 or 10 people will win that. Those, when they come to the United States, they are not eligible for any benefits from the United States. They have their green cards, they have their work permits, they have everything done for them. They just go and get a job their own, unless they’re older people who need health care, but then they have to provide their information, and we have to fill out applications for them, and see if the SSI, Social Security offices can help them or not.
It depends what their overall is. If they’re young and they can work and they have their work permit, they just go straight and work, because they don’t … We cannot give them any benefits, whether it’s the state level or federal level.
Lisa: From what I understand, Catholic Charities does accept donations so that people who are coming directly to Maine, if they’re in need of something, people can donate to Catholic Charities.
Daqa: Correct, yes.
Lisa: What types of things are people needing?
Daqa: One of the important things that they need is winter clothing. When they come here, they don’t know nothing about the winter, and people get shocked. I remember one client of mine one time was so serious, in her face, she said, “It doesn’t make any sense. It’s sunny out. Look at the sun, but this ice is not melting. How come?” They’re coming from Africa, and it’s so hot and humid, everything got melted. It’s a different sun. This is the Maine winter, and the sun is just for light. It doesn’t melt anything. It’s just amazing stories that you hear every day.
I get really pleasure out of listening to people, and just seeing … They are happy to be here, although a lot of people doesn’t know the fact of what they go through and how hard it is for them to be here. They are happy. They’re real happy to be here.
Yeah, they accept those donations for winter clothing, some things like that, and also they have a program, I think they call it Friends of New Mainers, I think. Most of these people doesn’t have any transportation or anything, so if they want to go to the hospital or a doctor’s appointment, things like that, they have an American friend who will drive them to that area. I think that’s a great program they have, that I like.
Lisa: Daqa, how can people find out about the work you’re doing with the city of Portland?
Daqa: Anybody can come to us, and we are at 190 Lancaster Street. I will give you all the information. I think a lot of the refugees and immigrant population know where we are, and I think it’s really very important for people to understand, at least to welcome these people in where they are and to think what a story that person has.
For example, one of my clients was tortured for a long period of time, from his government. One day, it was Fourth of July, he heard the fireworks. He thought it was guns, and people were trying to kill him, so he jumped off his window and broke serious bones. We find out … We already know what to tell people, what to … Ahead, but that was new to us. Now, we talk to them. I said, “There is the fire on the Fourth of July, and you have to know that, and don’t jump anywhere. Nothing will happen to you. You’re in a safe place,” so just a lot of things that we tell our clients.
I was looking into the well-being part that you guys were doing, for people being happy to be here. When I was in graduate school in New Hampshire, we had a case that my global health professors talked about. It was involved with the Sudanese family. They were in refugee camps for so long in Uganda, and they came to New Hampshire, and so happy to be here, ecstatic to be here. They’d go through a lot of hard times, in the refugee camps in their country. When they come here they’re like, “Yes.”
The child ended up dying for lead poisoning. Nobody told them about it. Nobody advised, “This is … Don’t touch that, and don’t touch this.” They learned the hard way. We try to teach people so many things, but it takes so long to do it. We try our best to tell them a lot of different things that are happening such as, “Don’t hit your children when you come to this country. There’s laws. Your children will be taken away from you.” They’re like, “What? How can somebody take my kid?” “Don’t touch them. They will be.” It’s so much learning to do.
Lisa: People who are listening, I encourage you to go to the city of Portland’s Web site to find out more about the work that Daqa is doing. Also, possibly look into Catholic Charities, and be willing to hear people’s stories. I’m certain that what you’ve talked about is true, that everybody has a story, and there’s something that we don’t know about each person that we might meet.
Daqa: Yes, everyone you see has a story.
Lisa: We have been speaking with Daqa Dhalac, who is a human service counselor for the city of Portland social services division, and also the mother of 3. She lives in South Portland, so it’s really been a pleasure to speak with you today. Thank you so much.
Daqa: Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate you inviting me, and I’m honored.
Female: As a physician and small business owner, I rely on Marci Booth, from Booth Maine to help me with my own business, and to help me live my own life fully. Here are a few thoughts from Marci.
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Lisa: If you’re listening to this show, you know that “Love Maine Radio” has a strong interest in education, and we have spoken to many educators over the years, and we love to hear more from them. Virginia Dearani is the founder and director of One Tree and the Roots and Fruits program in South Portland. This is a preschool and child care program serving children ages 3 to 5, in a thriving, rich environment filled with enthusiasm, creativity and spontaneity. The staff and children of Roots and Fruits are diverse in both social and economic culture and ethnicity, allowing the environment to emulate life outside the center. Thank you so much for coming in today.
Virginia: You’re welcome. Thanks for having me.
Lisa: I know of course that it is school time as we’re taping this, so this is a big ask that we have made of you, to come in here today.
Virginia: Yep, the kids were very curious as to where I was headed. I always let them know when I need to leave during the day, that I’m going to talk and teach with big people, just like … They’re going to hang out and have fun, and fill me in when I get back.
Lisa: I like that, and that’s actually a part of what you do with One Tree. One Tree is an umbrella organization for all kinds of educational opportunities that are going on.
Virginia: Yes, definitely. It really has started with the preschool, of working with young children and doing … Creating opportunities to talk around lots of real topics that they’re experiencing, based on their identities, race, class, religion, all sorts of things, and creating curriculum around it, and being really spontaneous. Through that process, a lot of adults have been curious as to, how do you have such topics and conversations with such young children? That’s where other programming has kind of fostered this umbrella organization, to really provide adults, educators and professionals around tools to have such dialogue.
Lisa: How did you become interested in education yourself?
Virginia: My background was doing a lot of violence prevention or violence intervention, so I actually was doing a lot of advocacy, working within a lot of organizations and within schools, looking at issues of family violence, dating violence, school violence, gang violence. I witnessed a lot, for many years, and my work always brought me into situations to think about ways to work with children who were bearing witness to this, if not directly, indirectly.
Through all of that work, it always was intervention. The money was always there for intervention. There was a lot of dialogue around prevention, but the focus and the resources never went in that direction. I kind of felt inspired when my position was cut in one of my former jobs, and many people guided me to go back to school and say, “How could I start a school, be really intentional, where prevention would be happening?” All of these experiences I was witnessing, had root causes in issues of conflict around difference or oppression or so many topics that young children, I felt like, could use the opportunity to talk about, or just create an environment where stuff just came up, and provide families the opportunities and tools to talk about that.
I went back to school and thought around, what does that look like, and studied early childhood and the day care, kind of preschool environment came out of it, mostly because it’s a business, and families needed day care. I actually was in the model of doing a public elementary school, but the state of Maine at the time didn’t allow for charter schools. I had to re-think, because I did not want a private school. I wanted to have it be as diverse economically as much as possible, and I knew I needed to … I wanted it public, or went further down and decided to do a day care, because that was reaching as young as I could, but also a structured business that our country needed, that the area needed. I designed the preschool to start out, and went from there.
Lisa: Where are you originally from?
Virginia: Connecticut; Norwalk, Connecticut, and then my family moved. I have many … I have 7 sisters and 1 brother, so I was raised in a pretty tribal environment. My family moved to New Hampshire right before high school. I grew up in Connecticut for many years, and then was in New Hampshire for a few years before traveling around and landing in Portland.
Lisa: Do you use the word “tribal”?
Virginia: Tribal, yes. My dad is Arabic and Syrian. My mom is Irish. Just that cultural and that village and that just family atmosphere, was always present. You had 9 siblings in one house. You can’t not feel communal all the time, and raised … Being in a bedroom with 2 other siblings. Just that feeling of really, everyone has each other’s back, even if it got icky and challenging at times, especially with 8 women. It definitely always, for me, tribal was something that I always felt, because whether we were doing dishes or doing laundry or watching some family show, we always felt like it was this family community atmosphere to it, that I loved.
Lisa: I like the word “tribal,” and the reason that I kind of caught upon it is, I have 9 brothers and sisters, although 5 of my family members are boys. We didn’t have quite the difference of balance that you have, but you’re right, there is something that happens that’s more than just a relationship between you and a sibling. It’s when you get that big group of people together, there’s a very different energy to all of that.
Virginia: Yep, there is. I think I reflect back on it, and know that that probably has been such my deep motivation to probably what I do, because I walk into what feels like a tribe, every day. It didn’t start out that way. It started out with 5 kids, and now I have 30 kids in the program, amongst other programs that can be happening in the summer. I don’t even think I was realizing that. I was trying to create what a lot of families didn’t have, that experience, at least in my … That was a new thing, of being raised with so many, except for a lot of the diverse communities I work with, that is their frame of reference. Even if they only have a couple siblings, everyone’s connected. It’s very tribal. For American-based families, it’s not as common.
A lot of families at least say there is that, “Wow, you’re coming into what feels like a big Roots and Fruits family,” and that’s what I wanted it to feel like, because there is something different than these 1 or 2 relationships.
Lisa: There must be something to the Roots and Fruits name.
Virginia: There definitely is, yep. The name came to me in a meditation, when I was kind of … The whole vision of it has come in meditation, and then little nuggets have come each day. That, I had a special book that I would read each morning. The day that I opened it up, the title was “Roots and Fruits,” and I knew immediately that was going to be the name of the school.
What came to me was, the whole missional lot was really bringing families, and helping them to learn about what their roots are, and their children to learn what their roots are, whether they literally landed here from another country days before, or whether they’d been here for many years and never thought about what their roots are.
The fruits were what they were going to learn about, the gifts they were going to have to offer to the world, once they walked out of our building and moved on into wherever they headed. Throughout the journey that the children go on, most for 2 years, and the families, they really start to come to know who they are, and what roots look like, whether it’s on ethnicity or however they define that, in partnership with their families.
We start to help to see who they are, and what they are bringing out into the world, whether it’s through art and music or mathematics or whatever they thrive on, whatever their natural gifts are, we really help them to name their fruit, and how each fruit is different, and what they can do with that to help ideally make the world a better place. I’m very upfront with them, around how the world needs lots of love, and they all have that ability to be a peace ambassador. I give them that language and that thought process at 3, 4 and 5, so that they know they have that skill set; not with any pressure, but with an empowerment, that they feel like, “Wow, I can do something at 5 years old.” That’s where the name comes from.
Lisa: Having had 3 children that went through early childhood education, preschool, day care, they’re all much older now, but it was very, very important to me to have a high quality setting for them to exist in. It wasn’t for me just, warehouse my kids until I get home from work at the end of the day. It’s, create this family space, this community, this enrichment. I think that a lot of people are looking for that these days. It doesn’t exist quite as easily as one might think.
Daqa: No, it doesn’t. It’s extremely difficult work. It’s extremely challenging. A lot of it is because, for me, my biggest challenge every day is staying present, and because the beauty of the age we work with is, they know what it means to be simple and present, and sort of create a really thriving, creative environment. You really need to be in partnership, I believe, really with where they’re at.
You have the other components of the business; how as adults we go to thinking of all these other things, and it’s so easy to lose presence, which I think ripples into then the way we are working within day cares and stuff, because we get caught up into the tasks of what we need to do, and we lose, for me, the wonder and the magic that immediately comes because of the ages that we’re working with.
I think it’s … A lot of my work right now has been going into programs, and giving them tools, and training them around how to stay in that place of presence, how to meet the different needs that they are faced with that can be overwhelming, and also how to honor a movement that’s shifted, where a lot of folks who have gone in have not had necessarily that educational background. There’s no funding. It’s such a lack of honoring, when it comes to really resources.
I think it’s a hard job, but the pay and the gains, I think, of it are amazing for kids. In terms of the day-to-day, people being able to take care of themselves, and me feeling good around what I pay my staff, it’s not easy. I think you have a lot of turnover, and people get burned out quicker. The value system on young children and early childhood education and everything, from a larger systematic economic level, is so unbalanced with what really the power of the work that’s going on now, and what we could do at that age.
I think that is a big impact as to why a lot of programs struggle, or folks who want to do it, don’t do it. A lot of variables come up.
Lisa: I’m thinking about the time that I spent as a coach, as a swimming instructor, as a camp counselor, working directly one-on-one with children. You’re absolutely right; there is a presence that is required. There’s an energy that’s required. It can be very intense. I think it does require a certain … I don’t want to say a certain type of person, because we all have that capacity, but you really have to have a love of what you’re doing in order to stay in it.
Virginia: Yes, and when I bring on teachers, a lot of them, they’ll come in with a different education, and I want that. I’m nationally accredited, and so I’m looking for folks who have just had a desire to go into the studies. My always biggest thing is that when you’re here, my biggest thing that I’m wanting to keep each other in check on, with you and vice-versa, and all of us kind of have this place of staying present, and what does that really mean? We do meditation with the children. A lot of it is bringing in tools that we as adults are trying to practice while modeling with kids, to stay in that, despite the little things and all the things that are going on within the chaos that can go on.
It’s usually organized in joyful chaos, but the chaos can still throw all of us off-center, in one way or another. How do we be aware of that? How do we be real around it, but not let it overwhelm us in a way that we can kind of shut down, and kind of spiral? I don’t think a lot of … In my experience in working with a lot of programs … I think that that’s not on the forefront, because they are mostly focused on … We have so much pressure now. Kids have to be reading and doing all these things before they go into kindergarten, so that value … What the values are now, I think, have shifted and put pressure on in a way that impacts that presence piece.
Not to say not to look at those pieces, but when it overshadows, and people start focusing on those arenas, I think we can lose that magic of play, and just imagination and creativity and all of those pieces, that I think are critical as adults in our professions, even if it’s not really clearly defined.
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Lisa: I love the idea of roots, because sometimes I wonder if we haven’t become a little bit too homogenized in our world, and my family has French and Catholic and a little bit of French Canadian Indian, and a little bit of English in there. As a doctor, I know that genetically there are things that happen as a result of having that kind of biological encoding. There’s also patterning that happens within families, and sometimes as you’re kind of walking about in the world, and you’re being, I don’t know, guided towards homogenization, it’s good to be reminded that, “No, I have this other stuff that’s inside of me. I came from somewhere, and this is just as strong as what’s going on around me.”
Virginia: Yes, and it’s a bit … Especially for families who haven’t … I have a lot of families, I ask them to fill out a lot of paperwork, and one of the biggest questions that I always end up following up on, some whose families who are coming from other countries, or just they have their … Even if they’ve been in this country, they’re new Americans, or they have that frame of reference of just understanding their roots and the importance, and they haven’t necessarily been homogenized or kind of integrated in or assimilated into this culture, which we like to do.
The families who have been, if I’ll ask them what their ethnicity or race is, they’ll immediately say “white.” I go immediately back and say, “Actually, white’s not a race, it’s a color, and so I really want to know what your roots are.” Sometimes, it’s the first time they’ve never heard the question. They never even knew how to answer the question. It’s a powerful journey that the families … I say, “This is … You pick whatever you feel called to do.” It could have been one meal you grew up as a child that you were like, “Why do we eat corn bread and whatever?” You might be, “I have so much in me, I don’t know,” then just pick 1.
For me, it is that helping you and your family and your child to go on that journey. You’re not going to end it here, but at least it’s the start of a dialogue that I feel like, as they continue into school, and they are around children of many different backgrounds, and we focus all on the commonalities within the differences, so it’s a daily dialogue. We’re constantly saying, “So-and-so is from here, and you’re from here, and this is where it’s the same, and this is where they’re different.”
We’re constantly going back and forth, where they really know what their root is and how it’s different from this other person’s root, but in the end, they’re all connected underneath the mother earth, and we’re all here to support each other. That understanding that “I’m from a different root,” I think is really important, because then they can understand how to plug into the world, and where they fit, versus them just going with the flow and, “I’m just doing what I think I’m supposed to do, versus what I love to do, I feel what I’m really called to do.”
I don’t think you can start … I think you can start very young with messages like that with children. You’d be amazed how much they know already, providing them the opportunity to kind of … And create the container for them to go there.
Lisa: It’s not just Roots and Fruits that you’re doing. You’re the founder and director of One Tree, so that means that that you’re providing education really throughout the spectrum of ages.
Virginia: Yes.
Lisa: Tell me what else you’ve been working on.
Virginia: We have … I’ve developed what’s called a Seeds Institute, which is a training institute that really was from the community asking for, “How do you do this? How do you create a model of this kind of teaching with young children, or how do you have a dialogue around race or gender or topics of identity with young children?” Most folks think, go there in middle school, but how do you really have that dialogue with a 3, 4, and 5?
The Seeds Institute was a training institute of workshops that I co-create depending on the audience. I do some nonprofits, I have done some social criminal justice system work. I’ve done … Because a lot of it’s talking about how to build relationships across many people from many different situations and backgrounds.
The other program is called Community Branches, which is really community programming. We do a summer peace and social justice camp, with elementary school kids, taking a lot of the tools again of meditation and community issues, and topics that are relevant that the children want to talk about, and then creating film and theater around it. That happens in the summertime, and we partner and connect with Seeds of Peace International Youth, who come and work with our children. We have an international dialogue on peace, with kids from 3 all the way up through the ages.
I do a middle school training institute for middle school youth, to be counselors in training. They’re at that age where they’re trying to figure out their identity in different ways. They can’t be hired for jobs, yet they want to work with kids, some of them, or they want to be babysitters. It’s kind of that age of, how do we empower them to be leaders, and give them some tools? I train them, and then they come work with me during the summer, with the kids, as kind of a counselor, and helping out with the other teachers and getting that practice, as well as them going on their own identity journey, because middle school is another big phase of that.
Those are some of the other programs, and sometimes some programs pop up for a couple weeks. A lot of it is leaving it up to the community. When Ferguson came up, and all of these race pieces … Issues of racism within our country have come up, I was asked by the community to lead compassion dialogues with children and families. That’s been kind of a once a month ongoing dialogue, where families just come, we all meditate together as one big community, and then the children go off and do art around whatever comes up for them. I sit with the families, the adults, and just answer questions or talk about, “How do we talk about what’s going on in the world, and what does that look like, and is it important to?” and just whatever kind of pieces come up around social media issues.
That’s … I kind of listen to what the community is wanting and needing, and if it fits, again, with the mission that we’re talking about, which is to have these dialogues, starting with young and moving up through the ages, it might be … That’s the community branches that will kind of evolve.
Lisa: What are some of the issues that you’ve seen arise in response to the work that you’ve been doing? What are some of the questions, some of the conflicts, some of the boundaries and obstacles?
Virginia: I think the biggest question and conflict that I think that I face or listen to is the conflict or the challenge of, “We want to talk about these topics,” whether it’s issues of racism or violence, “But we want to keep our children innocent, and we don’t …” It’s that balance of, is it important? Do we go there? How do we go there? I work with children who are in it, so of course they’re going to go there, because they’re experiencing it, compared to those who just have not had to have that opportunity.
I really believe you can still have a dialogue in a very simple way, in a very loving way, in a non-fear place, that still empowers all children to feel like they can move beyond or be leaders or be an ally to whoever that they meet, as they move on into their school journeys. I think the beauty of starting really young is the children keep it in a light place, talking about topics that are really hard and volatile, whether it’s deaths or violence or whatever. You can keep it really simple, and they’ll take your lead.
A lot of it’s the energy around what you carry, and how you go there versus, “I don’t want to go there.” I think the conflict that adults have is that we hold so much fear around it. It’s, how do we do that, and not bring that into the dialogue? Most adults, I think, want to. Their intentions maybe want to, but it’s almost like, “It’s too much, and we don’t want to,” so it’s easier to say, “Let’s wait until they’re older.”
In my experience, it ends up being more intervention, versus a 4-year-old, you can shift their mindset on something pretty quickly, and they’ll hold onto that for many years to come, versus a 14-year-old or even a 10-year-old. I think that’s the biggest conflict that comes up.
Lisa: What have you seen as a result of the work that you’ve done? Is there a way to know?
Virginia: At least families that I’ve worked with, parents who have said that they know the language we have given them at a young age, who are now in upper elementary and middle school, are using the same language and kind of observing their peers in the same way, with a lens of love, with a lens of, “That’s just someone who had a rough day, and made a bad choice, and can turn it around,” versus holding them into this negative view that carries with them.
I think, whether I have children who go to the dentist and meditate now before they have to get a filling; parents are either sending me pictures of what kids are doing, that they know, that they say, “We’re not doing this at home. We know that they’ve learned it, with being within your walls,” from me and my teachers, it’s not just me. That is how … We haven’t done, I’ve been recommended to do more formal testing in terms of assessing. I have kindergarten teachers who give me reflection around the social and emotional development, or just the tools and language the kids have when they enter into kindergarten, in comparison. I’ve gotten a lot of feedback, which is a good reinforcement of staying, doing what I’m doing. We haven’t done any formal assessments.
Lisa: How many years have you been doing this?
Virginia: I started this 10 years ago, actually; it was March of 2005.
Lisa: That’s very exciting.
Virginia: Yes, it is.
Lisa: It must be very gratifying …
Virginia: It is.
Lisa: … To have put a lot of yourself into something very important, and to have it bear fruit.
Virginia: It is, yeah. I have to say, when I started out, it was a big question. It’s amazing how you can stick with something and trust, if you build it, the people will come. That’s definitely been true in this situation. It’s definitely been community-driven, and I’m blessed to have the community we live here to be so supportive.
Lisa: Is there a Web site that people can go to to find out about One Tree and Roots and Fruits?
Virginia: Yeah, so the Web site for One Tree is OneTreeCentral.org, and then Roots and Fruits is RootsFruits.org. Roots and Fruits is also right under the One Tree Web site.
Lisa: We’ve been speaking with Virginia Dearani, who is the founder and director of One Tree and the Roots and Fruits program in South Portland. Thank you. Congratulations on 10 years.
Virginia: Thank you.
Lisa: Thank you for the wonderful work you’re doing. I really appreciate you bringing this sort of energy and light into the world.
Virginia: Thank you very much.
Lisa: You have been listening to “Love Maine Radio,” show number 197, “Roots of Humanity.” Our guests have included Daqa Dhalac and Virginia Dearani. For more information our guests, and extended interviews, visit LoveMaineRadio.com. “Love Maine Radio” is downloadable for free on iTunes. For a preview of each week’s show, sign up for our eNewsletter, and like our “Love Maine Radio” Facebook page. Follow me on Twitter as Dr. Lisa, and see my running, travel, food and wellness photos as Bountiful One on Instagram.
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“Love Maine Radio” is recorded in the studio of “Maine Magazine” at 75 Market Street, Portland, Maine. Our executive producers are Susan Grisanti, Kevin Thomas, and Dr. Lisa Belisle. Audio production and original music by John C. McCain. Our content producer is Kelly Clinton. “Love Maine Radio” is available for download free on iTunes. See www.LoveMaineRadio.com, or at the “Love Maine Radio” Facebook page for details.